When I reconnect with people from high school they are shocked that I am married and have 4 kids. Growing up I didn't want kids. Heck when I met Chad I didn't want to get married or have kids. What changed my mind? Chad has a large family (4 sisters, 4 brothers-in-law and 8 nieces and nephews) and I changed my mind because I saw how awesome it can be to be apart of something like that.
When Cade was born I knew I wanted another immediately. I could not wait to get pregnant again because I wanted my kids close. Almost 6 months to the day after he was born I was pregnant again. The week after I got pregnant Cade stopped sleeping through the night and in fact did not sleep through the night until he was 3 1/2. If I hadn't been pregnant already I can guarantee that he would have been an only child. Camden came along and once again I knew that I wanted another and soon and just like with Cade I was pregnant 6 months to the day from Cam's birth.
Let me back track by saying that I truly believe that every child is hard. There isn't a point in a child's life that you will not worry, be financially helping (even if it's just taking them out to dinner), giving advise or any number of other things. To say that I have it hard is ridiculous because children are hard, no matter how many you have. One child is hard because they are alone. They don't have a companion to play with and you don't have a comparison to say that it's easier. Two is hard because it's double the work, love and worry. Your kids play AND fight together (no matter their gender) which does make it easier, but you also have to pay more for fun. For me three was the most painful.
When Kellen came along I could have been done. He was a sweet baby, but having three kids and two hands really is hard. I had Cade the runner who would book it from one side of the mall to the other with me towing 2 kids behind trying to catch him. Trying to keep track of 3 kids is hard and we made a game of numbering them because we counted so many times at the park. Even now I count continually because it's the easiest way to keep track. With Kellen's birth too I had put myself out of the box. I was no longer the nuclear family of 4, but the big 5. People looked at us a little differently because we had one extra and there was/is a lot of judging. I became sick with Graves' disease after I had Kellen and couldn't get pregnant because the drugs I was on caused birth defects, so we had to wait for Kolin a little longer than we had with the other boys. Having Kolin was the hardest decision. I knew that I did not want to just have 3 kids because after all, who would be the one riding alone on the roller coaster? Chad and I talked about it and said if I didn't get pregnant in September then it wasn't meant to be and since I am fertile mertile it was no problem and along came Kolin.
For me Kolin hasn't made a lot of difference. Sure it's hard having 4 kids, and financially it's harder, but I was already out numbered so it's not been so bad. Chad on the other hand thinks 4 is super hard. The hardest part of having Kolin is the age difference. Kellen and Kolin are 23 months apart as apposed to the 15 month of the other boys. It feels like for every stage we go through we get a little lull and then it's like a slap in the face when the next stage starts. With the other boys it was continuous until we left a stage. Potty training for 1 year, but three totally potty trained, now we will be starting over with Kolin soon.
When people talk about having more than 2 I always say don't. A third child is HARD and I believe you need to be prepared for what you're getting into. You need to know all the facts and the fact is you can't give them back, so if there's any hesitation then don't do it. I have a good friend who is pregnant with her third that both Chad and I tried to talk out of but she was insistent that she wanted a third and once she got her point across I knew that she would be a great mom to 3 because she wanted it just like I wanted it. Now 4 that one is hard. I'm all about even numbers, but if you think you're done, then you're done. I knew I was done after Kolin and had no problem giving everything away.
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