There are reasons I don't drink, one is that my mother and my husbands mother were both alcoholics and if you've ever known one it's enough to stop you from ever wanting to consume alcohol. Another reason is that it just doesn't make me feel good. It's not the giggling that comes over me that bothers me, but the horrible heart burn, sigh we can't all have good constitutions. The last reason I don't really drink is because I'm afraid that if I started I wouldn't want to stop because some days are really bad and why temp my self with it. That being said, I do drink occasionally. I'm not a totally sober person, but if you'll notice rarely do I go over my 1 margarita limit. Also, my comments about my children leading me to drink or me needing a drink don't ever pan out, they are just comments. Today would have been a drinking day if I was a drinker.
It started out with my period starting, but not until I had done all the morning stuff and had to run back upstairs. Why couldn't it have started before I went down stairs so I was prepared? As I'm trying to deal with myself Kolin comes in trying once again to be attached to my leg (obviously not convenient), Cayden comes running into the bathroom playing chase, quickly followed by Camden and Kellen. HELLO A LITTLE PRIVACY PLEASE! After screaming at the little munchkins to get the hell out I quickly ran down stairs and off to school we went.
After unloading Cayden and Kellen at school Kolin and Camden and I were on our way to Walmart. I absolutely hate Walmart with all of my heart. If I could never go to Walmart again it would be too soon, but I also refuse to spend money on food that I could get half the price at Walmart, so once a week I torture myself with that horrible store. My little guy Cam was a precious gem there, and since he turned 3 those are few and far between. Kolin on the other hand has become a demon child and though he is cute and that saves him on more than one occasion, today he was at his limit. For every thing that I put in my cart he either chewed it or threw it out of the cart or both. That child had a death wish! After the torture session that I call Walmart and now the joys of going with my 16 month old we hurried on back home to unload and get Kol down for a nap before we had to be at the preschool for the annual Halloween parade. Have I mentioned that there are two times of the year that drive me crazy...Halloween and Mother's Day. Why? Because it seems like an endless amount of time running around to every one's classroom with no rest for mommy and lots of stress coordinating kids. Anyways, back to my day... car unloaded, Kol screaming, but eventually taking a 30 min nap, dishes done, laundry done, beds made, towels folded and we're off to the parade.
Corralling Cam and Kol is not easy, but with a little help from my umbrella stroller it was done. It starts and there is Kellen in his cute Superman costume strutting his stuff for the crowd. After multiple circuits so that everyone could get all angles of pictures it's race to the front of the school so we can get in line for a cookie before it gets too long. Everyone grabs a cookie and we're on our way to pick up Cayden, crap I'm out of gas, quick detour and back in time to wait 20 minutes for Cayden to get out of school.
Ah rest time. This is my time. My kids go to their room and rest, play, read, watch a movie...I don't care, just be quite so Kolin can sleep and let mommy get what mommy needs to get done. I swept and mopped the floor and finally got something to eat. I read for about 30 minutes and was finally in a good place after the crazy, stressful, hectic day. I made the decision that I really needed my car washed and even though I just did not want to do it (like when you're sick and don't want to get out of bed but a shower will make you feel better) I took the boys to the Express car wash. I must admit I do feel better getting my car washed, even if it was just the outside. We did a quick detour to Bath and Body Works without a fight to get some soap for my kitchen and because my boys were soooo good for that hour we got pizza for dinner. And then it went down hill again.
Rush to eat, rush to get ready for soccer, why must I ask you to put your uniform on 5 times? Rush to get everyone loaded in the car with bottles of water and everyone having gone to the bathroom. Rush to get across town so I can get there early enough not to have to park too far away. Everyone out with 15 min to spare. Oh shit, I forgot half of the juices for soccer snack, gggrrrrr. Haul chair, snack, baby, water and 3 big boys across the gigantic field to wait. This was when I needed that margarita. This is why I don't drink because that margarita would have made me a sloppy crying drunk rather than a happy giggling one because my day was shitty with a little bit of calm happiness on the side. I don't do well with soccer on Thursday nights and I'm saying it right now, it's never happening again. I can do practice, but you will never see a Phillips at a Thursday night soccer game because it's too late, dinner time, bath time, long day crap and I'm NOT doing it again. Cheers.
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Sitting or Standing
In our house we have a rule...if you can't pee standing up without peeing all over the place, you sit. At times I've even given my husband this mantra because in the middle of the night we sometimes miss. I'll admit it now; I am an anal retentive clean person, and I like my house clean or at least as clean as 4 little boys, 2 cats, 1 dog and a husband can make it. So...when I went looking for my AWOL 16 month old yesterday morning before school started, and found him trying to sip pee water with a straw out of the downstairs toilet I might have lost my skittles a little.
Rewind 10 minutes earlier...the boys are eating their breakfast, suddenly Cam has to pee. While yelling pee pee as he runs across the house towards the bathroom I am finishing getting snacks ready for the day, and trying to peel Kolin off of my leg where he is now continually attached. After giving Kolin a straw to entertain himself ,so I could finish getting every ones backpacks ready to go, I start yelling for everyone to brush their teeth. Where did Kolin go? I walk by the darkened doorway to the bathroom and realize that it should be closed. Kolin has a little problem with being in the bathroom alone (ie: he loves toilets, toilet cleaner, plungers, etc...). At first is seems empty until I turn on the light and look around the door.
There is my baby swishing his straw around the toilet water that happens to be yellow. That's when I notice that not only is the toilet not flushed, but the lid and seat are also up. WTF! With multiple animals in the house and a baby the #1 rule is to put the lid down. That doesn't even touch on the fact that the boys are not allowed to stand because they can't seem to aim right and no amount of trees can teach them.
As the boys start to file into the bathroom I'm yelling at Cam about sitting, not standing, putting down toilet seats and flushing the toilet (which is Cam's trade mark). I start handing out tooth brushes when I notice that the boys are making dirty foot prints because there is water on the ground. Wait. What? No, not water, pee. Not only did Cam not flush, leave seats up and stand, but he also peed all over the ground. I actually felt the vein pop out on my forehead and my head may have spun around once. As I asked Cam "Why!?" he looked me in the eye and said "because I wanted to". Ah, yes, that is what my wonderfully smart 4 year old thinks of most of the things that he does in his life. Poor soul has a lot to learn.
Rewind 10 minutes earlier...the boys are eating their breakfast, suddenly Cam has to pee. While yelling pee pee as he runs across the house towards the bathroom I am finishing getting snacks ready for the day, and trying to peel Kolin off of my leg where he is now continually attached. After giving Kolin a straw to entertain himself ,so I could finish getting every ones backpacks ready to go, I start yelling for everyone to brush their teeth. Where did Kolin go? I walk by the darkened doorway to the bathroom and realize that it should be closed. Kolin has a little problem with being in the bathroom alone (ie: he loves toilets, toilet cleaner, plungers, etc...). At first is seems empty until I turn on the light and look around the door.
There is my baby swishing his straw around the toilet water that happens to be yellow. That's when I notice that not only is the toilet not flushed, but the lid and seat are also up. WTF! With multiple animals in the house and a baby the #1 rule is to put the lid down. That doesn't even touch on the fact that the boys are not allowed to stand because they can't seem to aim right and no amount of trees can teach them.
As the boys start to file into the bathroom I'm yelling at Cam about sitting, not standing, putting down toilet seats and flushing the toilet (which is Cam's trade mark). I start handing out tooth brushes when I notice that the boys are making dirty foot prints because there is water on the ground. Wait. What? No, not water, pee. Not only did Cam not flush, leave seats up and stand, but he also peed all over the ground. I actually felt the vein pop out on my forehead and my head may have spun around once. As I asked Cam "Why!?" he looked me in the eye and said "because I wanted to". Ah, yes, that is what my wonderfully smart 4 year old thinks of most of the things that he does in his life. Poor soul has a lot to learn.
Saturday, October 16, 2010
The Terribles
Before I had kids I could not grasp what Terrible Two's and Three's were. Sure I had heard of them, who hasn't, but I had no idea what it entailed. To me it just meant inappropriate tantrums in public. I miss the blissful ignorance. At that time I knew that when it happened to my children I would handle it better than all those mothers I have seen in the past. Sometimes I think I do better and sometimes I think I do worse, I guess that's what learning as we go is all about.
With my fist son, Cade, he started acting up at 11 months. I took him to the doctor convinced it was because he was sick. Nope, I just got an early bloomer. It seems to be that the earlier they start the longer it lasts and his lasted till 3 1/2. Now if anyone knows me by 3 1/2 I had 3 kids and dealing with a Terrible child was a lot to handle. I thought I was lucky too because Cam, my two year old, didn't seem to be showing any signs of the Terribles. I would actually brag and tell everyone that he was my angel child. I still feel to this day a sense of loss wondering where my angel went to because Cam was a Terrible 3 child.
Now let me differentiate between Terrible 2 and Terrible 3. The Terrible 2's start early, so more accurately they should be named the Terrible 1's. These are the tantrums you tend to see in public. There is no reason to them and the best thing to do is let them do it and walk away while they are having them. You can't reason with them, so nothing you say is getting to their little brains. I was lucky to get 3 Terrible 2 children. Yes, lucky. The Terrible 3's are like watching Linda Blair in Exorcist. Your baby was so sweet and easy and then the devil takes over. They tell you that they hate you, don't love you, want to live with another family, roll their eyes, give attitude, talk back, lie and steal. I'm sure there are more, but this is what I have had.
My sweet baby Cam is a Terrible 3 and still going. He has been possessed and almost everyday I ask him when is the angel coming back. He cries and has tantrums, but 3 year olds can process and use their brains, so their tantrums are about the hurts that they feel you have done to them. It's like having a pubescent teenager. Gaw, I hope this is it and I don't have a crazy teen too, because I might have to move out. There is an end to the horror. Cam is starting to show signs of his former sweet self, though he still tries to lie and steal (don't get me started on the Walmart incident) he's become more honest and admits to it. That could have something to do with his punishments being a lot less severe when he tells us the truth. He also still has tantrums, but they don't last as long and he's easier to talk down before it gets too bad. Since he's 4 1/2 I'm hoping by Christmas it will be better.
As for Kellen he has been a Terrible 2 child and is already starting to come out of it. He'll be 3 1/2 in January and I'm guessing it will be so much better by then. He was also a pretty good Terrible 2. He started right before Kolin was born and I feared a new baby and a Terrible. Maybe it's my experience with dealing with two Terrible kids already, but I really think his personality as a lover has helped him get through his Terribles better an any of the rest of my kids. Kellen wants to love people and be happy. He loves hugs and kisses and is such a cuddle bug. Even when he is having a tantrum he wants to be held.
Where Kolin is concerned he is a Terrible 2 also, but he is a exact replica of Cade the only difference is his height and weight. If you've ever had a 30 pound, 33 inch baby throw themselves backwards while you're holding them it can get dangerous. I have had more hurt noses and fat lips with Kolin then all my others combined. I must say I am not looking forward to the next 2 years of his fits, but anything beats a Terrible 3.
With my fist son, Cade, he started acting up at 11 months. I took him to the doctor convinced it was because he was sick. Nope, I just got an early bloomer. It seems to be that the earlier they start the longer it lasts and his lasted till 3 1/2. Now if anyone knows me by 3 1/2 I had 3 kids and dealing with a Terrible child was a lot to handle. I thought I was lucky too because Cam, my two year old, didn't seem to be showing any signs of the Terribles. I would actually brag and tell everyone that he was my angel child. I still feel to this day a sense of loss wondering where my angel went to because Cam was a Terrible 3 child.
Now let me differentiate between Terrible 2 and Terrible 3. The Terrible 2's start early, so more accurately they should be named the Terrible 1's. These are the tantrums you tend to see in public. There is no reason to them and the best thing to do is let them do it and walk away while they are having them. You can't reason with them, so nothing you say is getting to their little brains. I was lucky to get 3 Terrible 2 children. Yes, lucky. The Terrible 3's are like watching Linda Blair in Exorcist. Your baby was so sweet and easy and then the devil takes over. They tell you that they hate you, don't love you, want to live with another family, roll their eyes, give attitude, talk back, lie and steal. I'm sure there are more, but this is what I have had.
My sweet baby Cam is a Terrible 3 and still going. He has been possessed and almost everyday I ask him when is the angel coming back. He cries and has tantrums, but 3 year olds can process and use their brains, so their tantrums are about the hurts that they feel you have done to them. It's like having a pubescent teenager. Gaw, I hope this is it and I don't have a crazy teen too, because I might have to move out. There is an end to the horror. Cam is starting to show signs of his former sweet self, though he still tries to lie and steal (don't get me started on the Walmart incident) he's become more honest and admits to it. That could have something to do with his punishments being a lot less severe when he tells us the truth. He also still has tantrums, but they don't last as long and he's easier to talk down before it gets too bad. Since he's 4 1/2 I'm hoping by Christmas it will be better.
As for Kellen he has been a Terrible 2 child and is already starting to come out of it. He'll be 3 1/2 in January and I'm guessing it will be so much better by then. He was also a pretty good Terrible 2. He started right before Kolin was born and I feared a new baby and a Terrible. Maybe it's my experience with dealing with two Terrible kids already, but I really think his personality as a lover has helped him get through his Terribles better an any of the rest of my kids. Kellen wants to love people and be happy. He loves hugs and kisses and is such a cuddle bug. Even when he is having a tantrum he wants to be held.
Where Kolin is concerned he is a Terrible 2 also, but he is a exact replica of Cade the only difference is his height and weight. If you've ever had a 30 pound, 33 inch baby throw themselves backwards while you're holding them it can get dangerous. I have had more hurt noses and fat lips with Kolin then all my others combined. I must say I am not looking forward to the next 2 years of his fits, but anything beats a Terrible 3.
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Morning Hell
Every morning I try to wake my kids up with a song. It's usually "Good Morning, Good Mmoorrnninggg", but it's something catchy and cheery because to me mornings mean new beginnings, fresh slate and overall happiness because nothing has happened to make the day a bad one. Unfortunately I think I'm the only one in my house who fully grasps this concept and Cade is my anti-happy morning boy.
Because of time constraints we have a rule that you must be dressed, including shoes and jackets before you can come down for breakfast. This week the boys have been lax in that attitude and no amount of yelling seems to get the point across. This morning was no exception, except that it was Cade not fully dressed for his day. After telling him at least a dozen times to get a move on, get upstairs for shoes and jacket and then in the bathroom to brush his teeth we were on the one minute countdown to load the car. I told Cade if he didn't have what he needed he was going as is.
Like all moms, I hate the thought of having my son go to school not fully dressed or teeth not brushed, but I had to make my point. Finally I said time was up, we all loaded into the car and Cade came running with shoes in hand. I told him he better get them on his feet in the car or else he was getting out with no shoes on. It's about a 2 minute ride to school and when we pulled up he had only gotten one shoe on. Putting my foot down, he unloaded in the drive through carrying one shoe, no jacket and his back pack.
I feel like the worst mother ever, but if this one day brings a life time of lessons isn't it worth it? I absolutely detest lateness. I am forever early or on time and I want my kids to be that way too. Part of being on time is being fully ready and I'm crossing my fingers that Cade will learn that being at school on time wasn't the whole sch bang.
Because of time constraints we have a rule that you must be dressed, including shoes and jackets before you can come down for breakfast. This week the boys have been lax in that attitude and no amount of yelling seems to get the point across. This morning was no exception, except that it was Cade not fully dressed for his day. After telling him at least a dozen times to get a move on, get upstairs for shoes and jacket and then in the bathroom to brush his teeth we were on the one minute countdown to load the car. I told Cade if he didn't have what he needed he was going as is.
Like all moms, I hate the thought of having my son go to school not fully dressed or teeth not brushed, but I had to make my point. Finally I said time was up, we all loaded into the car and Cade came running with shoes in hand. I told him he better get them on his feet in the car or else he was getting out with no shoes on. It's about a 2 minute ride to school and when we pulled up he had only gotten one shoe on. Putting my foot down, he unloaded in the drive through carrying one shoe, no jacket and his back pack.
I feel like the worst mother ever, but if this one day brings a life time of lessons isn't it worth it? I absolutely detest lateness. I am forever early or on time and I want my kids to be that way too. Part of being on time is being fully ready and I'm crossing my fingers that Cade will learn that being at school on time wasn't the whole sch bang.
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Reality
I started this blog with the thought of selling it one day and making money, so that our super tight budget might actually get a break. Then I got a reality check from my mother-in-law. It wasn't harsh it was just the truth, I need to be funny to sell myself and while my blog is nice it's not really funny. A lot of the time I like to make fun of the sad, annoying, painful situations in my life, so here is goes....
Every morning Chad and I start our day running. The alarm goes off and we run to the shower, then get dressed fast and at this point with at least one child circling us. We run to get our kids dressed for their days and then we run down stairs to get breakfast ready, eaten, teeth brushed, snacks packed and back packs ready for the day. By 7:34 Chad has been gone for 1/2 an hour and I am starting the 10 minute load into the car, because God knows it takes at least 10 minutes to get 5 of us in the car and buckled. It's not even that I have to buckle all 4 kids it just takes that long to get them to move themselves into the car. Kolin can't buckle of course and he has now started a campaign to sit in the middle seat in the third row of our van with out a car seat. I get it, he just wants to sit with his bros, but physically it's a bitch to get him from the middle third row to the right second row. Then there is Kellen who refuses to buckle himself. Some days he's "3" and a big boy, so he can do it but most of the time he's a baby and needs mommy.
Once we drop Cade off at school we come home and that's when my day takes a dramatic drop in activity. Now we wait. Cam or Kel, depending on the day, don't start school till 9, so we normally watch The Cat in the Hat and Martha on PBS. Of course as of this morning that's going to change since our downstairs tv died.
So this morning with the light drizzle coming down and no tv my kids blew up the house and terrorized all until it was time to once again load the car to take (today) Cam to school. Since I used to work at the preschool that the boys go to I'm pretty close with everyone, especially Tracy in the church office. We usually check in daily with her as part of our daily routine, even if it just means yelling hi. This morning while scrambling to stay warm and say hi Cam decided to bite Kel on the butt. REALLY! Was that really necessary? Of course at the time I didn't realize how bad the bite was or I would have been in the church bathroom putting soap in his mouth. After leaving the office we ran (because boys don't walk) to Cam's classroom where Kellen fell in a puddle. I handed Cam off to his awesome teacher and rushed home to get Kel out of his wet clothes. Then we have two and a half hours till we pick up Cade. After putting Kolin down for a nap, doing the dishes, and coloring with Kellen I made sure he didn't have to pee and then off we were again to get Cade. Of course life is never easy and we have to wait AGAIN for Cam to get out at 12, thank God for DVD players in cars.
Since preschool has started I have learned to wait in the car until the absolute last minute because my children see the courtyard at St. Stephen's and they are suddenly possessed and can't listen. They run amok, they almost take adults out with their zeal to play. Today was no different even though I spend a large amount of time telling my kids to stop running around and just stay near me, while trying to hang onto a squirming 30 pound 15 month old. And that is of course when Kellen decided that he needed to pee, but instead of getting me to take him to the bathroom he just whipped it out in the middle of the courtyard. With the many 1 kid parents looking on with disdain I told him to put it away. At that moment I wanted to laugh and cry because I'm sure I looked like that mom who can't control her kids, but really 4 boys is crazy and this was a small smudge in my day. So yes I was bothered by those bitchy moms who judge, but really it was funny and I am smart enough to get it.
Every morning Chad and I start our day running. The alarm goes off and we run to the shower, then get dressed fast and at this point with at least one child circling us. We run to get our kids dressed for their days and then we run down stairs to get breakfast ready, eaten, teeth brushed, snacks packed and back packs ready for the day. By 7:34 Chad has been gone for 1/2 an hour and I am starting the 10 minute load into the car, because God knows it takes at least 10 minutes to get 5 of us in the car and buckled. It's not even that I have to buckle all 4 kids it just takes that long to get them to move themselves into the car. Kolin can't buckle of course and he has now started a campaign to sit in the middle seat in the third row of our van with out a car seat. I get it, he just wants to sit with his bros, but physically it's a bitch to get him from the middle third row to the right second row. Then there is Kellen who refuses to buckle himself. Some days he's "3" and a big boy, so he can do it but most of the time he's a baby and needs mommy.
Once we drop Cade off at school we come home and that's when my day takes a dramatic drop in activity. Now we wait. Cam or Kel, depending on the day, don't start school till 9, so we normally watch The Cat in the Hat and Martha on PBS. Of course as of this morning that's going to change since our downstairs tv died.
So this morning with the light drizzle coming down and no tv my kids blew up the house and terrorized all until it was time to once again load the car to take (today) Cam to school. Since I used to work at the preschool that the boys go to I'm pretty close with everyone, especially Tracy in the church office. We usually check in daily with her as part of our daily routine, even if it just means yelling hi. This morning while scrambling to stay warm and say hi Cam decided to bite Kel on the butt. REALLY! Was that really necessary? Of course at the time I didn't realize how bad the bite was or I would have been in the church bathroom putting soap in his mouth. After leaving the office we ran (because boys don't walk) to Cam's classroom where Kellen fell in a puddle. I handed Cam off to his awesome teacher and rushed home to get Kel out of his wet clothes. Then we have two and a half hours till we pick up Cade. After putting Kolin down for a nap, doing the dishes, and coloring with Kellen I made sure he didn't have to pee and then off we were again to get Cade. Of course life is never easy and we have to wait AGAIN for Cam to get out at 12, thank God for DVD players in cars.
Since preschool has started I have learned to wait in the car until the absolute last minute because my children see the courtyard at St. Stephen's and they are suddenly possessed and can't listen. They run amok, they almost take adults out with their zeal to play. Today was no different even though I spend a large amount of time telling my kids to stop running around and just stay near me, while trying to hang onto a squirming 30 pound 15 month old. And that is of course when Kellen decided that he needed to pee, but instead of getting me to take him to the bathroom he just whipped it out in the middle of the courtyard. With the many 1 kid parents looking on with disdain I told him to put it away. At that moment I wanted to laugh and cry because I'm sure I looked like that mom who can't control her kids, but really 4 boys is crazy and this was a small smudge in my day. So yes I was bothered by those bitchy moms who judge, but really it was funny and I am smart enough to get it.
Biting
This morning my wonderful 4 year old, Cam, decided that he did not like where his younger brother was sitting, so he bit him. I thought I was done with the biting phase of my children's lives, but like everything it seems there are years that are harder than others. Now Cam seems to be going back to biting to express his emotions and Kolin is starting to bite as he teeth's. Cam was a biter when he was little, but with a little help from my pediatrician we quickly resolved that problem. How? When I was at my wits end trying to figure out how to stop a biter from biting I went in to see my doctor and he said to flick him in the mouth when he bit. I was shocked to say the least. I said, "isn't that child abuse?", but he said it's quick, easy, effective and a lot safer than other methods parents use. Sure enough it worked, about 3 flicks later and he never bit again, except for the occasional bites he gives his brothers when he's really mad.
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Boys Versus Girls
Recently my 4 year old started Pre-K preschool and made a fast friendship with a little girl. They have been attached at the hip since their first day of school and until this week have had a great relationship. As girls are won't to do she found another boy to be friends with and has left my baby in the dust. He of course does not understand what happened and why and as the mama bear I am furious that my baby's feeling are hurt. How would you react in this situation? My first instinct was to bad mouth that little girl who hurt Cam, but then I realized the best reaction would be to tell him that there are more friends in this world. Of course I also added that making a friend that was a boy would be better too, because afterall boys are way less drama then girls.
Initially when this happened I posted it on Facebook because that's what I do. I tell my friends what happens in my day like so many and they help me through it with their funny comments. The best comments back were that that's what girls do. I laughed that so many agreed with me, but I have to say I'm equally upset that this is the beginning of a long journey of heartache for my boys. I'm pretty sure that I'm not going to be the best mother in law, because NO girl is going to be good enough.
Initially when this happened I posted it on Facebook because that's what I do. I tell my friends what happens in my day like so many and they help me through it with their funny comments. The best comments back were that that's what girls do. I laughed that so many agreed with me, but I have to say I'm equally upset that this is the beginning of a long journey of heartache for my boys. I'm pretty sure that I'm not going to be the best mother in law, because NO girl is going to be good enough.
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