Thursday, December 30, 2010

Food for the Family, ouch.

  As I was contemplating the end of the year I was reviewing how much money is spent on my children.  Not counting in toys, clothes, sports or other hidden 'essentials', just food.  We are on a tight budget and when I say tight I mean we go to Costco once a month and the market weekly, for the essentials that I couldn't get at Costco. 
In a month I go through....
6 loaves of bread (and that's not making sandwiches everyday)
5 bags of apples (about 8 apples in a bag)
16 bunches of bananas (you'd think that would stop them up a little)
1 super box of diapers
1 super box of wipes
1 Costco size Gummy Vitamins (90qty)
6 cases of water
5 boxes of Capri sun (and that's only for lunches, so Kolin never has one)
16 gallons of milk
1/2 of a Costco size TP
1 Costco size cheese and crackers
1 Costco size granola bar
2 Costco size yogurts
8 boxes of cereal
3 18 packs of eggs
4 gallons of OJ
2 economy size string cheese
5 packs of hot dogs.... and the list goes on.
The good part?  Super Walmart.  I absolutely hate that store, but when my food bill comes in $100 less than if I had gone to Vons or Ralphs I have to go.  I spend on average $800 a month on food and food type items.  I was recently watching the McNaughty sextuplets that just turned 13 and they were talking about food and when those babies were born their food budget was $300 a month.  That woman is a saint!  Food is expensive for 6 people and 3 animals I can't imagine 10 people.  Since Cade and Kolin seem to be unlimited on their food intake lately I am afraid to see what 2011 is going to bring my food bills.  Happy New Year.

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Dentist

   Today I went to the dentist for me.  I hate the dentist and it isn't because of some childhood horror, nope it didn't start until after I had Cade.  I am one of those women that had all the good teeth karma sucked out of me when I got pregnant.  After I had Cade I had 3 cavities and one eventually became so bad that my tooth actually broke in half and I had to get a crown.  This was my first tooth incident.  Before that I had perfect teeth, no issues.  Now, not so much.  Why would I torture myself with going to the dentist 2 days before Christmas, because you gotta go and Chad is on vacation so I can go. 
   Always expecting the worst now that I've had children I was still a little un-prepared for the comments made by my dentist.  What did you say?  I have deep crevices in my two bottom molars that are eating away at the enamel and I really need to get them fixed?  Why? Because of my acid reflux and the excessive amount of soda I've been drinking.  Huh, weird, SINCE I DON'T HAVE ACID REFLUX OR DRINK SODA!!  WTF!  How can I have this issue with out having any kind of acid in my mouth?  Yep, once again thoroughly annoyed with my dental experience and so glad that I'll be starting the new year having to go back to the dentist for two fillings to "save" my teeth before the excessive acid can do any more permanent damage. 

Monday, December 20, 2010

Rainy days

   It is weeks that include 4 days of rain that I long for a basement.  It's great having a large yard, but when it's a pool now and it's rained pretty much non-stop for 4 days it is worthless.  If I had a basement I could set up an obstacle course and make the boys have races to stave off the incredible amount of energy they  have.  I would have a wall made out of chalk board paint that the boys could write on instead of wasting all the printer paper we have.  My dog would probably still be outside since she can't stop eating the boys toys or she could stay upstairs with me away from the toys. 
    Instead we are trying to find creative things to do, like the gigantic fort we built last night that was ruined this morning when Kolin jumped on it.  On Friday we went to the mall and played at the little play area there.  Of course that is a germ haven, so I try to avoid doing that at all costs.  We also like to walk the mall and look in the windows.  I'm hoping at some point to go to the bounce house, even though it costs me $40 to go, because it's from 10a to 6p and I can come and go when I need to.  It's really hard to live in Southern California when it rains because there just isn't enough for us to do when it rains here. 

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Christmas Program Hell

     I'm pretty sure I'm not the only mom who cringes when it's time for Christmas programs.  It's not that I don't enjoy seeing one of my boys singing his heart out showing how hard he worked to learn a song with his fellow students, it's more about the torture I endure to see said 1 minute of pride and joy.  At the boys preschool each parent is assigned 1 seat and any remaining family members are supposed to stand in the back.  I have never been able to sit because strollers are not easy to maneuver in the tight space that is provided.  Today was not an exception. 
     As I stood in the back with Kellen and Kolin (strapped in to a stroller) I realized that I should have gotten to the program at 10, even though it started at 11 because I was quickly being surrounded by amazon people. As the children finally started filing in, of course late at 11:10, I could not see a thing.  Kellen wanted to be held so he could see and not surprisingly so did Kolin.  I'm not sure if everyone is up to date on Kolin, but last appointment he was 32.5 pounds @ 16 months. 
    Trying to keep Kolin happy while holding Kellen and squeezing between 6 foot plus people I got a small glimpse of Cam singing his heart out and the opportunity to wave.  As I stepped back to rescue Kolin, who was 3 feet away, I put Kellen on the back counter and picked up Kolin.  Kellen starts screaming that he can't see and he wants me to pick him up, Kolin is running for the door and I just wanted to cry.  Why was I doing this for 1 minute of my sons life?  It was a beautiful thing to see my shy, quite little boy come out of his shell for the audience, but in that moment with 2 crying kids, kicking and hitting me while dad's watched I was done.  I grabbed both boys hip pushed the stroller outside and said "have at it" to the play yard.  I sat in the freezing cold waiting for Cam to be done with the rest of his program and then got all the boys a cookie before leaving to pick up Cade from school.  I can say in hindsight I did the right thing removing us from the situation before I was tempted to beat the crap out of my kids (too many witnesses), but at the time I felt defeated.  Thank goodness for my dear friend, Sarah, calling me from 400 miles away to make me feel better.   Tomorrow is Kellen's program and I'll be sure to get there at 10, so I don't have the same problem.

Fighting

    My boys have fought since Cade was 2 and Cam was 8 months old and trying to take away a toy to drool on.  I know that siblings fight, but there are times that I cry because I am so frustrated by the constant hitting, bickering, and tattle telling.  After putting on face book that I was at my wits end I got a few responses on how to help the fighting and was surprised by most.
     A lot of people said exercise, but unfortunately most of my boys fighting is in the morning and since we're already strapped for time having them run around the block a few times would not help.  I don't think drinking will help the boys to stop fighting just dull the pain a little.  I really liked the suggestion to Velcro them to the wall and was in fact picturing a wall made of Velcro that I could put them on when they are bad.  The only real problem I saw with the Velcro wall was trying to get them in the special suit they'd have to wear to be put on the wall. Also, they might actually like that and it wouldn't be the punishment I meant it to be.  I have tried sending them to their rooms, but since Cade and Cam share a room it doesn't stop the fighting (though my friend Nikki's suggestion of having Cam or Cade in the guest room does have merit). 
    We have this mantra that Chad started when we only had two, "brothers love and hug", that we scream at them when they are beating the crap out of each other.  Sometimes they pause and repeat, but a lot it's I don't love him and I won't hug him.  Sigh. It's times like these that make me want to pull my hair out.  Add in at least one of the big boys spilling a cup of something sticky like apple juice or in this mornings moment chocolate milk and I scream. 
    As I try to tell myself every day today is a new day and it will be better.  I am going to make them hug each other for 30 seconds (thank you Mindy) and if that doesn't work they will be spending time in their room until they are able to play nicely with the other boys.  Now if I could just keep my sumo wrestler 18 month old out of all the boys stuff I may be able to pull it off.  Wish me luck and if that doesn't help, send over some wine.

Friday, December 10, 2010

Tantrums

    Today I had a mommy tantrum.  I was on my way home from the bookstore with my kids, which for me is like Disneyland, and was finally fed up with all the arguing and screaming.  I told my kids to shut their mouths and when that didn't work I cranked up the Christmas music to blaring and just listened.  Kolin had a great time because he loves to rock out and the boys cried for a few minutes about it hurting their ears and then quited down.  Mommy does not do this often, so obviously it was important to pay attention. 
    This week is one of the hardest of the year for me.  It is the week that Chad hosts a basketball tournament at Canyon and is gone virtually from Monday at 7am to Saturday night around 8:30/9pm.  He pops home to sleep and says a quick hi to the boys (and feeds the animals in the morning because I never remember) and then is gone again.  Today is day 5 of the tournament.  Day 5 is when I have pretty much lost my sanity and my blood pressure is at a constant boil racing through my veins.  Today I opened a bottle of wine, even though I don't really drink and wine would never be first on my list of drinks, I thought it would be safer that way. 
    Of course my children scent a wounded animal like wild animals, so this morning started out with the big 3 playing instead of coming down to eat breakfast, me yelling at them to put shoes on, brush teeth, etc...and coalescing with apple juice being spilled on the floor.  After feeling the vein pop out on my forehead we all piled in the car and dropped off Cade and Cam.  Have I ever expressed my undying love for Early Bird Preschool drop off?  Oh my how I love it and it makes my day so much better.  If only I could afford the extra $150 a month to drop my boys off every day early, sigh. 
   Anyways, after the C's drop off the K's and I went to Target.  I needed gift cards for teacher Christmas gifts, stocking stuffers for Chad and surprisingly jeans for Cade because 3 pairs have gone missing.  While we were in the boy section I thought I'd be sly and grab underwear and socks for Cam and Kel for their stockings, but Kel wanted his underwear NOW!!!!  I thought I'd be smart and say they were for a child that needed them.  That's when he threw himself on the ground and started screaming that he needed new underwear. 
    Now I am one of those annoying moms who totally ignores her screaming child and has been known in the past to completely walk away.  Kel once did this in the Walmart produce section.  He was on one end and I was on the other getting the fruits I needed when I realized that an older couple were getting the store manager because they thought he was lost.  I had to go over and tell them that he was having a tantrum.  I am not neglectful, but really what do you do?  I was tempted to backhand him when he hit me in the back trying to get my attention, but instead I yelled at him to get a hold of himself and then walked away.  That kid followed me around Target for a good 20 minutes crying and screaming.  Have I mentioned that Target is my happy place?  He was ruining my happy place!  Finally I couldn't take it anymore.  I told him to take 2 deep breaths and then to count to 10.  He told me he didn't know how to count to 10 (heart melting at that cute little voice) and I told him to count to 5 two times.  We took our deep breaths together and then counted to 5 two times.  Then I told him to state his case.  He told me he really wanted and needed new underwear.  I told him that acting like he was would never get him what he wanted and he needed to argue his case if he wanted something, not fall to the ground.  After explaining that we went back to where I had taken the underwear out of my cart and picked up the ones he wanted.  I know I gave in on those underwear, but I guess I picked my battle.  He didn't get tv for the rest of the day, so he did get a punishment, but really anyone who has that big of a fit over underwear really deserves them.
  

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Night time

   Ah, the night.  Before I had kids 7pm on any given night was dinner time, relax time, TV time, reading time or really anytime that wasn't stressful.  Now it is the worst part of the night.  Already I have struggled through a meal that was hated and a back breaking bath and now it's time for bed.
    My boys are like any other kids, they hate going to bed.  They want stories, books read, water, snuggles and endless people appear in our prayers.  There are nights when I want to pull my hair out because I just want a few moments of peace before I go to bed. 
   One of our nightly rituals before we go to bed is talking about what we're going to do the next day.  I usually do my cheerleader routine to try to get every ones enthusiasm up,  "YAY! We have school tomorrow and if you're really good we'll go the market in the afternoon, yippy!"  No I'm not kidding I can be quite nauseating at times.  This is also the time where the  boys will actually divulge details about their day rather than the answer of  "I dont' know" when I pick them up from school.
   Tonight I had the funniest conversation about what happened in Kellen's class.  He said a kid pushed him and hit him.  I asked him if he went to the teacher and he said yes, I asked him if he knew the kid's name and he said no, but he was able to tell me that the kid had a really BIG FAT BELLY!  Oh my gosh I laughed so hard.  I asked him if he thought the kid ate a lot of cookies and McDonald's to get that big fat belly and he agreed.  Gosh I love kids.  They truly say the funniest things and as Chad likes to say, there is no censor so they're telling it like it is.

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Traditions

   As our kids grow older we place more and more emphasis on traditions that we want them to have and pass on to their kids.  This year with money is a little tighter we want to make the traditions we love more important because most traditions are about the heart and not the amount in your pocket book. 
   Today we are going to get our Christmas tree.  While we decorate our tree we will be listening to Christmas music, drinking hot chocolate and making rice crispy treats.  In the past the first weekend of December would be spent at the hospital Christmas tree lighting, but since Chad has his tie exchange for basketball we go there instead and will drive by the big tree on our way home.  To us this year is an important milestone for our kids.  Cade is almost 6 and Cam is almost 5 and they are starting to remember past years of fun filled times.  Already we have been told that Santa brings 3 presents each, whew because in the past he brought way more, but this year it will definitely be a scaled down version.  We look at Christmas lights through out the season, but our big adventure is on Christmas Eve when we're on our way home from Meme and Pop Pop's house and we're trying to get the boys to fall asleep in the car.  My personal favorite time is now before the actual day because anticipation is high and there is just an excitement in the air.  Merry Christmas.

Friday, December 3, 2010

Bad Haircut

   Today I decided I couldn't take the length of my hair anymore and walked myself into Fantastic Sams to get a cut.  Now as a rule I never let people at Fantastic Sams or Super Cuts cut my hair because let's face it, those people are not good hair cutters, but I needed a hair cut, I'm unemployed and it's Christmas, so we have no extra money.  I thought it would be simple, but I had to open my mouth and mention that I wanted a little layer too.  BIG MISTAKE! Never say layers!!!!  Needless to say my hair is now pretty much 2 to 3 inches all over my head and I resemble a 50 year old politicians wife.  The cut isn't really that bad, it's just not what I wanted.  Now instead of crying I laughed.  Why, because what else can you do and really it will grow. 
   When I got home I told Chad I was sorry that my hair looks so horrible and he said it wasn't that bad.  Since men in general love long hair this was a big thing from my husband.  Of course it was what the boys told me that made all the difference, they think I look like a movie star.  Why?  No idea, but so nice to hear.  I think as a mother you have to roll with so many punches and if you're like me you laugh or clap when something goes wrong to make it less of a big deal, so when it finally happens to you you do the same thing.  It has been a great lesson to learn about my self.  I may not like my hair and I may buy a couple of hats to hide it for a while, but it will grow and the people who love me still love me, old lady/boy hair cut and all.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

AAaaaahhhhhh

    Sometimes it's the saying it takes a village that is truly the measure of a person.  I would love a village to help me raise my boys, especially right now when my sanity seems to be at an all time low and I'm struggling non-stop with my boys. The problem of course it that I am a loner at heart and I'm definitely not the type to call for help.  I've thought about it a lot and I don't have a lot of close girl friends.  I have my friend Gina, who I've known since I was 9 and I have my group of girl friends that I call and shoot the breeze with, but I would never call them if my house burned down.  Why is that?  Is it the product of socialization or something that is inherently a byproduct of our personalities?  My two older boys seem to be like me, neither needing a close friend but Kellen, my #3 has a best friend and talks about him all the time.  With this lack of village in my life I need something to change.
    The change of course is work.  There are a multitude of reasons ranging from needing more money for our family, to needing the security/freedom of making my own wage, but another/bigger part is that I need the social interaction with adults.  I am sick of the fighting, the boys against each other and me against them.  I am sick of the non-stop messes everywhere.  I am sick of making food that is barely touched because everyone is picky and a critique.  I want to have one day where everyone is happy, likes each other, loves my food and actually cleans up after themselves with out my having to threaten bodily harm.  I know, I'm living in a dream world.  These are the reasons I know it's time to get a job outside of my home, because I have reached my breaking point where I yell constantly, cry because I have no more patience and growl.   It is the holiday season, but I find every time I get a little bit in the holiday spirit the boys suck it all out of me.  So now instead of trying to get my boys to see the religious ramifications of the holiday season I am embracing the marketing of retailers.  Yay for Imaginext and Playskool, can't wait to see what Santa brings.