Christmas Program Hell

     I'm pretty sure I'm not the only mom who cringes when it's time for Christmas programs.  It's not that I don't enjoy seeing one of my boys singing his heart out showing how hard he worked to learn a song with his fellow students, it's more about the torture I endure to see said 1 minute of pride and joy.  At the boys preschool each parent is assigned 1 seat and any remaining family members are supposed to stand in the back.  I have never been able to sit because strollers are not easy to maneuver in the tight space that is provided.  Today was not an exception. 
     As I stood in the back with Kellen and Kolin (strapped in to a stroller) I realized that I should have gotten to the program at 10, even though it started at 11 because I was quickly being surrounded by amazon people. As the children finally started filing in, of course late at 11:10, I could not see a thing.  Kellen wanted to be held so he could see and not surprisingly so did Kolin.  I'm not sure if everyone is up to date on Kolin, but last appointment he was 32.5 pounds @ 16 months. 
    Trying to keep Kolin happy while holding Kellen and squeezing between 6 foot plus people I got a small glimpse of Cam singing his heart out and the opportunity to wave.  As I stepped back to rescue Kolin, who was 3 feet away, I put Kellen on the back counter and picked up Kolin.  Kellen starts screaming that he can't see and he wants me to pick him up, Kolin is running for the door and I just wanted to cry.  Why was I doing this for 1 minute of my sons life?  It was a beautiful thing to see my shy, quite little boy come out of his shell for the audience, but in that moment with 2 crying kids, kicking and hitting me while dad's watched I was done.  I grabbed both boys hip pushed the stroller outside and said "have at it" to the play yard.  I sat in the freezing cold waiting for Cam to be done with the rest of his program and then got all the boys a cookie before leaving to pick up Cade from school.  I can say in hindsight I did the right thing removing us from the situation before I was tempted to beat the crap out of my kids (too many witnesses), but at the time I felt defeated.  Thank goodness for my dear friend, Sarah, calling me from 400 miles away to make me feel better.   Tomorrow is Kellen's program and I'll be sure to get there at 10, so I don't have the same problem.