AAaaaahhhhhh

    Sometimes it's the saying it takes a village that is truly the measure of a person.  I would love a village to help me raise my boys, especially right now when my sanity seems to be at an all time low and I'm struggling non-stop with my boys. The problem of course it that I am a loner at heart and I'm definitely not the type to call for help.  I've thought about it a lot and I don't have a lot of close girl friends.  I have my friend Gina, who I've known since I was 9 and I have my group of girl friends that I call and shoot the breeze with, but I would never call them if my house burned down.  Why is that?  Is it the product of socialization or something that is inherently a byproduct of our personalities?  My two older boys seem to be like me, neither needing a close friend but Kellen, my #3 has a best friend and talks about him all the time.  With this lack of village in my life I need something to change.
    The change of course is work.  There are a multitude of reasons ranging from needing more money for our family, to needing the security/freedom of making my own wage, but another/bigger part is that I need the social interaction with adults.  I am sick of the fighting, the boys against each other and me against them.  I am sick of the non-stop messes everywhere.  I am sick of making food that is barely touched because everyone is picky and a critique.  I want to have one day where everyone is happy, likes each other, loves my food and actually cleans up after themselves with out my having to threaten bodily harm.  I know, I'm living in a dream world.  These are the reasons I know it's time to get a job outside of my home, because I have reached my breaking point where I yell constantly, cry because I have no more patience and growl.   It is the holiday season, but I find every time I get a little bit in the holiday spirit the boys suck it all out of me.  So now instead of trying to get my boys to see the religious ramifications of the holiday season I am embracing the marketing of retailers.  Yay for Imaginext and Playskool, can't wait to see what Santa brings.