Saturday, January 22, 2011

Minivan Mama

   I am prejudice.  I think moms who drive mini-vans are dorks.  Yes, I know, I drive one too, but it was a medical necessity and not a voluntary option.  When I got sick with Grave's Disease I literally did not have the energy or muscle mass to lift the boys into the Suburban.  Every time I exerted myself I would get light headed and almost pass out.  Good times.  Needless to say I researched mini-vans and we got the Toyota, otherwise known as the Swagger Wagon.  I can honestly say that I may not have bought the Toyota if I had known that they were going to re-name Santa Clarita Awesome town because it's just retarded to say I drive a Swagger Wagon in Awesome Town.  Just saying.
   Mini-van driving moms have no sex appeal.  You can't walk down the sidewalk and feel good about yourself and then get in a mini-van.  You can no longer roll down the windows and blast music because you are driving a mini-van.  If you go fast you are a crazy mom driving, not a cool chick testing your cars limits.  The worst is when Chad drives the mini-van.  I have always said that men should not drive mini-vans.  It takes their masculinity down at least 5 notches.  Chad thinks the mini-van is cool.  It's really nice inside and it's fully loaded.  Also, no one can beat the automatic doors, but it's still a mini-van.  I know it's all in my head, but I am a car girl.  If I won the lottery I'd have at least 7 different cars.  The first car to go would be the mini-van.  Sorry my mini-van driving moms, nothing against you and your love for your car I just personally hate it.   

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