I'd like a do-over please.

   The hardest part of being a parent, whether of an animal or person, is there are no do-overs.  You can't take back things that have been heard, actions played or in our case children born.  As much as we try not to think it, there have been times recently when Chad and I have looked at each other and asked our selves why we had #4.  Don't get me wrong, I would die for Kolin and I love him soo much, but since his birth we have been more financially strapped then ever before.  It's a hard lesson to learn and it's even harder because you can't go back.  There's also the question if I would.  I can not imagine our family with out my stubborn little sumo wrestler stomping into my room while I'm getting ready with a batting helmet on and Chad's basketball shoes grabbing his diaper saying "poo poo".  He has the most personality of any of my children and of all of them I could see Kolin doing tv work because of it. 
   There are the good days and the bad and instead of focusing on all the bad things my kids do in a day, I've been trying to focus more on the awesome things they do as learning little people.  Kellen going through the utensil drawer today is a great example.  Normally that would annoy the hell out of me, and I'm not saying I wasn't a little annoyed, but him asking me what every single thing was and what it did reminded me that he is learning and you can't learn if you don't ask questions. 
   Another hard part of parenting is you can't give up.  When you're working on a really hard math problem and you say "I give up, you try", yeah that doesn't work with kids.  There have been many trying days lately and I so want to say I give up I'm leaving.  Of course you can't leave and you can't give up because this is your team and they are counting on you.  I've seen the parents that have given up.  They are the ones that think their kids are old enough to take care of themselves and let their kids do whatever they want.  I hope to never give up because ultimately you're giving up on your kids. 
  Do-overs and giving up aside being a parent is hard and as I tell friends with 1 or 2 kids it doesn't matter how many kids you have they are all hard and every hard situation is hard for everyone.