I hate doing errands. It's not that I don't enjoy going to stores and finding things for my kids, house, people, food, etc... it's the thought and process of taking at least 2 children where ever I go. Today I actually only had Kolin for an hour, so I decided to go to Walmart to get a DVD for Chad's birthday. It's bad enough when you have to lug a child out of the car and into a cart, but it's even worse when you go in and they don't even have what you want. I wanted to scream at someone, but Walmart employees are not worth it because they just give you a dumb look, trust me I've done it before.
Lately my all time worst place to visit is the market. Kolin has this annoying habit of reaching (and since he's a sumo wrestler in training he has a pretty good arm length) into the back of the cart grabbing food and either trying to take a bite out of it or chucking it at people walking by our cart. I am that woman that you can hear yelling at her children from the other end of the store. If Kolin has had a good day and hasn't chucked food at people his next favorite thing to do is take the food and throw it like a football onto the checkout counter. I have lost eggs from him throwing cans on top of them. VERY ANNOYING!!!
I truly know that if I had a day with out kids I would be an extremely organized and calmer person. That being said we haven't won the lotto and it isn't going to happen anytime soon. For all those wonderful women who have help where they can go to the store with out their children...I spit on you because I am envious. xoxo
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Taking time off
Not often do Chad and I get a break from our kids. The going rate for babysitters is $5 per kid, so that's $20 an hour. Why do I not babysit on the side I do not know. We try to get out at least once a month together and a few girls or guys nights in too, though lately those are few and far between. The last time Chad and I had a weekend alone with no kids was Spring Break last year and I can tell you right now that I'm about at my breaking point. Luckily my dad and step-mom are once again taking our kids for a couple of nights so that Chad and I can have a break.
There are some people who are lucky enough to have this luxury happen to them more than once a year and to you I do a happy dance and I spit on you. Sorry I can't just be happy for you because the envy I feel is too overwhelming. There are also some who don't even get once a year and for you I will take your spitting because I totally deserve it. I am willing to take on more kids for a night so that you too can have a break, if only for 24 hours.
Reconnecting with Chad is a must because after a demanding basketball season where I see him a couple of hours a week we need to learn each other again. It's also good for me because the demands of making 3 meals a day, loads of laundry and cleaning constantly can get a bit overwhelming. I can not wait until April 1st when I drop my babies at my dad's house and then put the pedal to the metal to get home and relax. If I can I will sleep in and do what ever I want to do all weekend, though I'm sure I will have projects that must be done, but with no kids to bother me I will definitely get more done in a weekend than in a day.
Remember your selves and even if you don't get a weekend a day/night out is just as important because everyone needs a break.
There are some people who are lucky enough to have this luxury happen to them more than once a year and to you I do a happy dance and I spit on you. Sorry I can't just be happy for you because the envy I feel is too overwhelming. There are also some who don't even get once a year and for you I will take your spitting because I totally deserve it. I am willing to take on more kids for a night so that you too can have a break, if only for 24 hours.
Reconnecting with Chad is a must because after a demanding basketball season where I see him a couple of hours a week we need to learn each other again. It's also good for me because the demands of making 3 meals a day, loads of laundry and cleaning constantly can get a bit overwhelming. I can not wait until April 1st when I drop my babies at my dad's house and then put the pedal to the metal to get home and relax. If I can I will sleep in and do what ever I want to do all weekend, though I'm sure I will have projects that must be done, but with no kids to bother me I will definitely get more done in a weekend than in a day.
Remember your selves and even if you don't get a weekend a day/night out is just as important because everyone needs a break.
Friday, February 25, 2011
How Many is Too Many?
When I reconnect with people from high school they are shocked that I am married and have 4 kids. Growing up I didn't want kids. Heck when I met Chad I didn't want to get married or have kids. What changed my mind? Chad has a large family (4 sisters, 4 brothers-in-law and 8 nieces and nephews) and I changed my mind because I saw how awesome it can be to be apart of something like that.
When Cade was born I knew I wanted another immediately. I could not wait to get pregnant again because I wanted my kids close. Almost 6 months to the day after he was born I was pregnant again. The week after I got pregnant Cade stopped sleeping through the night and in fact did not sleep through the night until he was 3 1/2. If I hadn't been pregnant already I can guarantee that he would have been an only child. Camden came along and once again I knew that I wanted another and soon and just like with Cade I was pregnant 6 months to the day from Cam's birth.
Let me back track by saying that I truly believe that every child is hard. There isn't a point in a child's life that you will not worry, be financially helping (even if it's just taking them out to dinner), giving advise or any number of other things. To say that I have it hard is ridiculous because children are hard, no matter how many you have. One child is hard because they are alone. They don't have a companion to play with and you don't have a comparison to say that it's easier. Two is hard because it's double the work, love and worry. Your kids play AND fight together (no matter their gender) which does make it easier, but you also have to pay more for fun. For me three was the most painful.
When Kellen came along I could have been done. He was a sweet baby, but having three kids and two hands really is hard. I had Cade the runner who would book it from one side of the mall to the other with me towing 2 kids behind trying to catch him. Trying to keep track of 3 kids is hard and we made a game of numbering them because we counted so many times at the park. Even now I count continually because it's the easiest way to keep track. With Kellen's birth too I had put myself out of the box. I was no longer the nuclear family of 4, but the big 5. People looked at us a little differently because we had one extra and there was/is a lot of judging. I became sick with Graves' disease after I had Kellen and couldn't get pregnant because the drugs I was on caused birth defects, so we had to wait for Kolin a little longer than we had with the other boys. Having Kolin was the hardest decision. I knew that I did not want to just have 3 kids because after all, who would be the one riding alone on the roller coaster? Chad and I talked about it and said if I didn't get pregnant in September then it wasn't meant to be and since I am fertile mertile it was no problem and along came Kolin.
For me Kolin hasn't made a lot of difference. Sure it's hard having 4 kids, and financially it's harder, but I was already out numbered so it's not been so bad. Chad on the other hand thinks 4 is super hard. The hardest part of having Kolin is the age difference. Kellen and Kolin are 23 months apart as apposed to the 15 month of the other boys. It feels like for every stage we go through we get a little lull and then it's like a slap in the face when the next stage starts. With the other boys it was continuous until we left a stage. Potty training for 1 year, but three totally potty trained, now we will be starting over with Kolin soon.
When people talk about having more than 2 I always say don't. A third child is HARD and I believe you need to be prepared for what you're getting into. You need to know all the facts and the fact is you can't give them back, so if there's any hesitation then don't do it. I have a good friend who is pregnant with her third that both Chad and I tried to talk out of but she was insistent that she wanted a third and once she got her point across I knew that she would be a great mom to 3 because she wanted it just like I wanted it. Now 4 that one is hard. I'm all about even numbers, but if you think you're done, then you're done. I knew I was done after Kolin and had no problem giving everything away.
When Cade was born I knew I wanted another immediately. I could not wait to get pregnant again because I wanted my kids close. Almost 6 months to the day after he was born I was pregnant again. The week after I got pregnant Cade stopped sleeping through the night and in fact did not sleep through the night until he was 3 1/2. If I hadn't been pregnant already I can guarantee that he would have been an only child. Camden came along and once again I knew that I wanted another and soon and just like with Cade I was pregnant 6 months to the day from Cam's birth.
Let me back track by saying that I truly believe that every child is hard. There isn't a point in a child's life that you will not worry, be financially helping (even if it's just taking them out to dinner), giving advise or any number of other things. To say that I have it hard is ridiculous because children are hard, no matter how many you have. One child is hard because they are alone. They don't have a companion to play with and you don't have a comparison to say that it's easier. Two is hard because it's double the work, love and worry. Your kids play AND fight together (no matter their gender) which does make it easier, but you also have to pay more for fun. For me three was the most painful.
When Kellen came along I could have been done. He was a sweet baby, but having three kids and two hands really is hard. I had Cade the runner who would book it from one side of the mall to the other with me towing 2 kids behind trying to catch him. Trying to keep track of 3 kids is hard and we made a game of numbering them because we counted so many times at the park. Even now I count continually because it's the easiest way to keep track. With Kellen's birth too I had put myself out of the box. I was no longer the nuclear family of 4, but the big 5. People looked at us a little differently because we had one extra and there was/is a lot of judging. I became sick with Graves' disease after I had Kellen and couldn't get pregnant because the drugs I was on caused birth defects, so we had to wait for Kolin a little longer than we had with the other boys. Having Kolin was the hardest decision. I knew that I did not want to just have 3 kids because after all, who would be the one riding alone on the roller coaster? Chad and I talked about it and said if I didn't get pregnant in September then it wasn't meant to be and since I am fertile mertile it was no problem and along came Kolin.
For me Kolin hasn't made a lot of difference. Sure it's hard having 4 kids, and financially it's harder, but I was already out numbered so it's not been so bad. Chad on the other hand thinks 4 is super hard. The hardest part of having Kolin is the age difference. Kellen and Kolin are 23 months apart as apposed to the 15 month of the other boys. It feels like for every stage we go through we get a little lull and then it's like a slap in the face when the next stage starts. With the other boys it was continuous until we left a stage. Potty training for 1 year, but three totally potty trained, now we will be starting over with Kolin soon.
When people talk about having more than 2 I always say don't. A third child is HARD and I believe you need to be prepared for what you're getting into. You need to know all the facts and the fact is you can't give them back, so if there's any hesitation then don't do it. I have a good friend who is pregnant with her third that both Chad and I tried to talk out of but she was insistent that she wanted a third and once she got her point across I knew that she would be a great mom to 3 because she wanted it just like I wanted it. Now 4 that one is hard. I'm all about even numbers, but if you think you're done, then you're done. I knew I was done after Kolin and had no problem giving everything away.
Mommies should not get sick.
When you have little guys it is so hard to be sick. Since I am extremely anal retentive about my house and routine it has been a hard week. Tuesday night I realized I was feeling achy all over and when I took my temperature it was 100.4. Since I haven't had a fever in forever it was like being hit by a truck. I have a new and profound sympathy for my kids when they have fevers. After taking Tylenol and going to sleep early, only to have a very restless sleep I woke up feeling shaky and slightly hungover. Wednesday is sheets and towels day in our house and I was determined to get that done. I took kids to school, I tidied the house and I started loads of sheets and towels. Then it was pick up time. As the day wore on I started to feel worse. I just wanted to sleep or throw up and once again I had a fever, 101 this time.
When mom's are down for the count children are at their absolute worst. They know that you feel like shit, so they try to get away with everything. They wanted candy, I said yes just so they would leave me alone. I was physically in my house, but had pretty much checked out at about 1:30. To top off my sickness I wanted to clean because my friend was flying in on Thursday from St. Louis. When Chad finally got home I mustered up the guts to make the beds, practically passing out in the process and then was off to bed with a restless nights sleep AGAIN.
Thursday dawned and I still felt horrible, but there one thing that all woman have that men don't, FORTITUDE!!! I sucked it up and swept and mopped my house. I made sure the bathroom was clean and that my boys were forbidden to use it so it stayed clean. I rested in between, but I got stuff done. Luckily as the day went on I started to feel better and by the time Kathy did come I was well enough to go on the Moms Night Out that she had come for. I truly think that if I was a man I wouldn't have been able to get out of bed for 3 days, but being a mom I got it done because I had to. Unfortunately for my kids they had verbal wounds from a sick and tired mommy. I am not a nice mommy when I am sick and tired and there was more swearing in our house than normal, but they know I love them and they'll get over it, eventually.
When mom's are down for the count children are at their absolute worst. They know that you feel like shit, so they try to get away with everything. They wanted candy, I said yes just so they would leave me alone. I was physically in my house, but had pretty much checked out at about 1:30. To top off my sickness I wanted to clean because my friend was flying in on Thursday from St. Louis. When Chad finally got home I mustered up the guts to make the beds, practically passing out in the process and then was off to bed with a restless nights sleep AGAIN.
Thursday dawned and I still felt horrible, but there one thing that all woman have that men don't, FORTITUDE!!! I sucked it up and swept and mopped my house. I made sure the bathroom was clean and that my boys were forbidden to use it so it stayed clean. I rested in between, but I got stuff done. Luckily as the day went on I started to feel better and by the time Kathy did come I was well enough to go on the Moms Night Out that she had come for. I truly think that if I was a man I wouldn't have been able to get out of bed for 3 days, but being a mom I got it done because I had to. Unfortunately for my kids they had verbal wounds from a sick and tired mommy. I am not a nice mommy when I am sick and tired and there was more swearing in our house than normal, but they know I love them and they'll get over it, eventually.
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Health and Exercise
When I was in high school I had a eating disorder. I was totally anorexic because no matter how much weight I lost my mom would always say I wasn't skinny I was slim. Slim was not what I wanted to hear and it wasn't until I had met Chad that I really started liking myself. The ironic part is that I'm about 10 pounds more than I was in high school now and if I hadn't been so concerned with my weight I would probably have been this weight then.
It's probably a good thing I don't have girls because even though I like what I look like now and don't think myself fat, with the exception of a bloated pre-period day, I would probably pass my early teenage insecurities to my girls. As soon as my kids were old enough to eat solid foods I started explaining what that food could do for your body, for example; carrots are good for your eyes, especially your night vision so you can see like a cat. Pancakes have lots of carbs to give your body the energy it needs to run super fast at school. Now I know that is totally a yuppie thing to do, but I needed to help them to understand that their bodies need food and that making good decisions on what they eat will help them to live a long and healthy life. Of course there is always a flip side to explaining what foods do for your body like when my kids started asking what candy/cakes/cookies did for them my response has been negative. They are bad for your body, your teeth and they make you fat. We all know that I'm right, but probably it wasn't the right way to explain it. My poor husband can't have a soda with out my kids telling him he's fat because he drinks it.
As my kids grow older we have started telling them the importance of exercise and how just playing outside is a great form of exercise, but neither Chad or I exercise. Kind of hypocritical right? Part of our New Year's resolution is to eat at home more, eat healthier and exercise. So far two of the three are going well, but exercise is the hardest to conquer because I have no inclination to exercise. I am super lucky to have an awesome metabolism and I think that's part of my problem. I don't have to work to get skinny and because of this I am teaching my children the wrong lessons. Now that Chad is done with basketball we are going to be making a conscious effort to eat better and exercise with our kids so that as a family we stay healthy. Hopefully knowing what the foods that go into their bodies and exercising together will help my kids to have a better body image than I did growing up and stay healthy when they are out of our house eating on their own.
It's probably a good thing I don't have girls because even though I like what I look like now and don't think myself fat, with the exception of a bloated pre-period day, I would probably pass my early teenage insecurities to my girls. As soon as my kids were old enough to eat solid foods I started explaining what that food could do for your body, for example; carrots are good for your eyes, especially your night vision so you can see like a cat. Pancakes have lots of carbs to give your body the energy it needs to run super fast at school. Now I know that is totally a yuppie thing to do, but I needed to help them to understand that their bodies need food and that making good decisions on what they eat will help them to live a long and healthy life. Of course there is always a flip side to explaining what foods do for your body like when my kids started asking what candy/cakes/cookies did for them my response has been negative. They are bad for your body, your teeth and they make you fat. We all know that I'm right, but probably it wasn't the right way to explain it. My poor husband can't have a soda with out my kids telling him he's fat because he drinks it.
As my kids grow older we have started telling them the importance of exercise and how just playing outside is a great form of exercise, but neither Chad or I exercise. Kind of hypocritical right? Part of our New Year's resolution is to eat at home more, eat healthier and exercise. So far two of the three are going well, but exercise is the hardest to conquer because I have no inclination to exercise. I am super lucky to have an awesome metabolism and I think that's part of my problem. I don't have to work to get skinny and because of this I am teaching my children the wrong lessons. Now that Chad is done with basketball we are going to be making a conscious effort to eat better and exercise with our kids so that as a family we stay healthy. Hopefully knowing what the foods that go into their bodies and exercising together will help my kids to have a better body image than I did growing up and stay healthy when they are out of our house eating on their own.
Friday, February 18, 2011
Basketball Wife
There is a famous quote by UCLA coach John Wooden about being married to basketball and his wife being his mistress. I refuse to be like John Wooden's wife. This basketball season has been one of the hardest and I will readily admit that I say that each basketball season because each basketball season it does get harder. Last season I was DONE!!!! Chad and I discussed his being done coaching, but after the season was done he really wanted to do one more year. Now as we come to the close of that one more year another year looms.
Basketball is a year round program like all organized sports now a days. It is 345 days of practice, games, strategies, worrying and exhilaration. For 20 days a year I get my husband to focus on us and it is great. For 3 months of the year, end of November to end of February, it is a jam packed schedule of non-stop basketball broken up by Christmas Day and New Year's Day. My husband is gone 6 days a week from 7am to 7pm on a good day. There are a few days here and there when he is home early, but basketball is at the forefront of his mind. I'm explaining this for all the people who tell him that he needs to be a coach.
If I was working maybe Chad's basketball schedule wouldn't have been so bad this year, but I'm not working, so it's neither here nor there. Chad's been a coach for 11 years and it's always been hard, but having 4 little boys ask me if daddy's coming home and me having to be both mommy and daddy is hard. I miss my partner, I miss having Chad experience all the good and the bad things that go on with having boys and I especially miss my companion. Trying to impart all that happened the day before in the bathroom in the morning is not an easy task, especially with little boys running around.
Chad has told me time and time again that basketball is his dream. I get the dream and I want him to have the dream, but sometimes it feels like dreams can be put on hold for a later time and be made better with maturity. Now is not the time for either of our dreams, it's the time to raise our boys to have dreams of their own. And as John Wooden has also said, "
Basketball is a year round program like all organized sports now a days. It is 345 days of practice, games, strategies, worrying and exhilaration. For 20 days a year I get my husband to focus on us and it is great. For 3 months of the year, end of November to end of February, it is a jam packed schedule of non-stop basketball broken up by Christmas Day and New Year's Day. My husband is gone 6 days a week from 7am to 7pm on a good day. There are a few days here and there when he is home early, but basketball is at the forefront of his mind. I'm explaining this for all the people who tell him that he needs to be a coach.
If I was working maybe Chad's basketball schedule wouldn't have been so bad this year, but I'm not working, so it's neither here nor there. Chad's been a coach for 11 years and it's always been hard, but having 4 little boys ask me if daddy's coming home and me having to be both mommy and daddy is hard. I miss my partner, I miss having Chad experience all the good and the bad things that go on with having boys and I especially miss my companion. Trying to impart all that happened the day before in the bathroom in the morning is not an easy task, especially with little boys running around.
Chad has told me time and time again that basketball is his dream. I get the dream and I want him to have the dream, but sometimes it feels like dreams can be put on hold for a later time and be made better with maturity. Now is not the time for either of our dreams, it's the time to raise our boys to have dreams of their own. And as John Wooden has also said, "
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Facebook Phenomenon
It amazes me that there is an entity that has made the world a different place in such a short amount of time. The Internet as a whole has done so much for the world in being able to get causes, atrocities and great things known to all, but nothing has come close to what Facebook has done.
In my small world Facebook has let me become better friends with ladies I have met through preschool. It is a wonderful thing to be able to 'talk' to your friends with out having your conversations interrupted every minute. I can check my status and those of my friends and see if anyone needs help, whose birthday it is and even get personal messages about t-ball. I can join groups that other people across the world are a part of and maybe even make friends with those people. Of course there is also the awesomeness of finding old friends. Especially the ones that you weren't necessarily friends with in high school, but have now formed a bond because you see what they are doing in their every day lives and you can relate. Then there is the other part of Facebook.
The other Facebook is the one that recently started a protest in Egypt to stop the absolute power that is going on there. It was the simple ability of those there to 'Post' and 'Like' the beginning of the fall of a country's power. Facebook has become an awe inspiring phenomenon that literally touches the lives of millions of people in hundreds of countries. I'll bet Mark Zuckerberg (sp?) didn't plan on this when he started it.
In my small world Facebook has let me become better friends with ladies I have met through preschool. It is a wonderful thing to be able to 'talk' to your friends with out having your conversations interrupted every minute. I can check my status and those of my friends and see if anyone needs help, whose birthday it is and even get personal messages about t-ball. I can join groups that other people across the world are a part of and maybe even make friends with those people. Of course there is also the awesomeness of finding old friends. Especially the ones that you weren't necessarily friends with in high school, but have now formed a bond because you see what they are doing in their every day lives and you can relate. Then there is the other part of Facebook.
The other Facebook is the one that recently started a protest in Egypt to stop the absolute power that is going on there. It was the simple ability of those there to 'Post' and 'Like' the beginning of the fall of a country's power. Facebook has become an awe inspiring phenomenon that literally touches the lives of millions of people in hundreds of countries. I'll bet Mark Zuckerberg (sp?) didn't plan on this when he started it.
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